Life According To Lily

Hello darlings.

"Life is like a piano, White keys are happy moments and Black keys are sad moments. But remember both keys are played together to give Sweet music in life."

I saw this and just had to post it. I thought it was one of the most beautiful quotes i have ever seen. It is so true as well. It is something that I know a lot of us can relate to, those of us who are into and appreciate music.
The white keys being happy moments, the white keys are the ones that usually make the happy sounds thus giving us happy moments. The black keys usually are the keys that make the minor or the sad sounding music thus giving us the sad times. But put them together and the music becomes very beautiful.
I am by no means a philosopher but that's my way of thinking. Life is full of ups and downs, happyness and sadness but if we find a way to bring them together thus making sweet harmony it can be much better indeed.
Ok yeah, enough of that. Sometimes I think way too deeply for my own good.

And now, one of the quizzes I am most famous for posting...for those who don't know, I love quizzes. Sometimes I post them and sometimes not, it just depends on my moods.

You Are Kindness

You never think about being virtuous. You are only concerned with treating people as you'd like to be treated. You are a very compassionate person and a true friend. You don't have a hateful or prejudiced bone in your body. You are good to people because it's the right thing to do. You don't expect anything in return. You highly value friendship and personal contact. You try to make as many friends as possible.

I try.

For some reason I have been thinking of Jim a lot lately. Yes, I miss him terribly still and that won't change. Yes, I do still love him and that will never change either. I think of him all the time but more recently he never leaves my mind. Everytime I hear of someone who has died from cancer I automatically start thinking of him. It doesn't matter if it was the same type of cancer or not, I think of him. I think back and I ask myself if there was more that could have been done for Jim. I know there isn't but i can't help but ask myself if there might have been the slightest chance that something might have helped. Again I know the answer is no. I know that he isn't coming back, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I was reading the story of a little girl named Layla Grace from Texas that lost her battle with neuro blastoma this past Tuesday, she was only 2 and I couldn't understand how such a spirited happy little one could be taken from this earth so soon.
Every day someone loses their fight with cancer and it doesn't seem fair to me. Will they ever find a cure for such a horrible disease? I ask myself that question all the time. I wish they would have found one before it took the life of my husband. I often think that if he were still here things in my life would be much different. Jim was my guide, my best friend, my rock, my strength, my comfort, hell he was my everything. When he was going through his chemo treatments and in pain sometimes it seemed he was stronger than me and it shouldn't have been that way. I should have been stronger than him. I tried to save my crying and tears for when i was alone, it didn't always happen that way.
Sometimes I think I can still hear him in my head telling me to suck it up when I feel like crap. He never said that to be mean, he just hated seeing me cry. He didn't like me being sad and angry or upset. He always knew how to make me feel better. Jim was a good man and he will forever be missed.
I just hope that soon they find a cure for cancer before someone else loses a mother, brother, father, grandparent, cousin, sibling, husband, wife, best friend, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, etc...etc. It is a monster that needs to be wiped out never to return again. Or if it does, it can always be vanquished back to where it came from.

i know i have posted this before but I'm going to post it again because I've been in thought of Jim as of late. It's a poem I wrote in his memory. It's titled, Fly High My Angel.

February 20, 2008

FLY HIGH MY ANGEL
BY: ERYN POSS
IN DEDICATION TO: Jim Poss who lost his battle with cancer on September 11, 2004

It came upon you like a thief in the night,
With no warning no sign it started a fight.
The day that the doctors told us i'll never forget,
They told us you had cancer but don't give up yet.

You didn't give up, you said "this means war!
It's message of I'll win, you chose to ignore.
So for four long years you fought and fought hard,
Never quitting or letting down your guard.

I stayed by your side while you fought the good fight,
not regretting it for one second of the day or night.
I loved you so much then as I still do today,
and that which is the love and memories, cancer cannot take away.

The day you had to leave us was a terrible day indeed,
but we knew that from the pain and suffering yu had finally been freed.
You now walk among the angels and I know you still watch over me,
I can feel your presence when i start to miss you like crazy.

I know it's not goodbye forever and someday I will be with you again,
I'll be able to do things we didn't before like take long walks in the rain.
So for now I'll be content just to know you're flying high,
So spread your wings my sweet angel and I'll try not to cry.
For one day when my life is over, and my work here on Earth is done,
We shall be reunited again, forever and always and we will live as one.

I wrote another but i won't post that one just now. This entry is long enough and i'm getting sleepy. This vampiress is off now to sleep and to try and keep my tears from falling as they are really threatening to come out.

Until next time, "be safe" darlings.

<3<3<3hugs to all<3<3<3

Love,
Cissy