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Writer's Block: Instant wish
Jun. 8th, 2010 11:19 am[Error: unknown template qotd]My wish took me no thinking time at all, I know exactly what I'd want without a doubt.
I'd wish for Jim to be back with me and that he remain cancer free so that he wouldn't die again. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it all over again if I had to, just to see his face once more, to hear his laugh, to see his smile, to hear him sing again, to hear him blasting Korn at 2 in the morning and even to hear him and Flint fighting again. I used to tease him about that all the time saying that maybe he should be marrying Flint instead of me because of their fighting and the way when they'd talk, I had a hard time getting Jim's attention when I needed it. What can I say, they were best friends. It was amusing most of the time watching them. I miss him still, badly.
I believe my life would have bene a lot different if Jim were still here.
I wouldn't have gotten myself into some of the messes I have gotten myself into. Jim was always my voice of reason. If i wanted to do something that i knew wasn't right but decided to do anyway, he was always right there to say, "Honey, you know that's not right." Sometimes he'd even ask me, "Love, if you know it's wrong then why do you want to do it?" Then I'd stop and think about the reasons and usually stopped because I knew it was wrong and he was there to let me know it. He was always my guide in those matters. When I wanted to spend money we didn't have or that i thaught we had he'd say, "No we don't have the money for that." It was those times I didn't spend the money. Now, I do spend more money than I should. There are times when I can still hear him in my head saying, "no honey, you no better." or "Why are you spending that money, you know you shouldn't, you don't have the money." or "Honey,...save the money for something else more important. You don't know when you might need it." I should really listen to his voice.
I wouldn't have dated some of the stupid men I have dated either. I would have stayed with Jim and had no heartaches from breakups. I wouldn't have dated someone who was married and lost a friend over it. Ced friend and I are friends again but that's not the point.
My living situation would have bene a lot different as well. It's possible that flint, Jim and I would have gotten a place together later on down the road but know one knows that. I'm thinking yes though.
There are lots of things that may have been different had Jim not gotten sick and passed away, but I can't holde on to what might have been. I try to take each day one day at a time and that's all any of us can do. I miss him and he will always remain in my heart, I will love him always and nothing or no one can change that.
That is my wish.
I am working on an entry to let you guys know what has been up with me lately. Everytime I start I get interupted and end up giving up. I'll work on it though and get it posted.
Until next time...
The forever sarcastic one
Vamp Cissy
I'd wish for Jim to be back with me and that he remain cancer free so that he wouldn't die again. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it all over again if I had to, just to see his face once more, to hear his laugh, to see his smile, to hear him sing again, to hear him blasting Korn at 2 in the morning and even to hear him and Flint fighting again. I used to tease him about that all the time saying that maybe he should be marrying Flint instead of me because of their fighting and the way when they'd talk, I had a hard time getting Jim's attention when I needed it. What can I say, they were best friends. It was amusing most of the time watching them. I miss him still, badly.
I believe my life would have bene a lot different if Jim were still here.
I wouldn't have gotten myself into some of the messes I have gotten myself into. Jim was always my voice of reason. If i wanted to do something that i knew wasn't right but decided to do anyway, he was always right there to say, "Honey, you know that's not right." Sometimes he'd even ask me, "Love, if you know it's wrong then why do you want to do it?" Then I'd stop and think about the reasons and usually stopped because I knew it was wrong and he was there to let me know it. He was always my guide in those matters. When I wanted to spend money we didn't have or that i thaught we had he'd say, "No we don't have the money for that." It was those times I didn't spend the money. Now, I do spend more money than I should. There are times when I can still hear him in my head saying, "no honey, you no better." or "Why are you spending that money, you know you shouldn't, you don't have the money." or "Honey,...save the money for something else more important. You don't know when you might need it." I should really listen to his voice.
I wouldn't have dated some of the stupid men I have dated either. I would have stayed with Jim and had no heartaches from breakups. I wouldn't have dated someone who was married and lost a friend over it. Ced friend and I are friends again but that's not the point.
My living situation would have bene a lot different as well. It's possible that flint, Jim and I would have gotten a place together later on down the road but know one knows that. I'm thinking yes though.
There are lots of things that may have been different had Jim not gotten sick and passed away, but I can't holde on to what might have been. I try to take each day one day at a time and that's all any of us can do. I miss him and he will always remain in my heart, I will love him always and nothing or no one can change that.
That is my wish.
I am working on an entry to let you guys know what has been up with me lately. Everytime I start I get interupted and end up giving up. I'll work on it though and get it posted.
Until next time...
The forever sarcastic one
Vamp Cissy
